A short story by V

How did it all come to this??

The same question had been going round and round in the boy's head, swirling like a mental manifestation of the swirling whirlpool in the sea that was gently lashing the rocks atop which he sat. For now, the sea had satisfied itself with just swirling around the bottom of the waves, but soon, it would climb steadily higher andd eventually pound the rocks where the boy sat with unabated fury. That was just nature's way- get the aggression out of teh way and then return to a state of serenity. The same thoughts ran through the boy's head-how much longer before the wave would crash upon the rock and take him out to sea, further that he could swim back?? 'Would I even have a chance?', he wondered. 'Would I even want to?', he wondered.

'Was it really so long ago?', he thought. It seemed almost a lifetime away, the content phone conversations, the long walks, and the long hours of doing absolutely nothing, and yet being perfectly content. How soon the times had faded, how soon had the sun set on this little happy story.

The contented conversations had made place for nostalgic ones, the times spent doing nothing had now become too awful to even contemplate. The places they had visited, the songs they had heard, the movies they had watched together, all constantly popping into his senses, catching him unawares, reminding him that even he was just a slave to his memories. 'Memories?', he thought to himself. 'Ha!! Even the mere thought triggers powerful emotions!!! Memories evoke long forgotten feelings, long buried emotions, all bubbling up to the surface, like a fondue for the tired, the fatigued, the mentally weary!' Mentally weary?? Heh. Inspite of himself, the boy had to smile..well..make a brave attempt at smiling...in his current state, it looked a grimace at best.
Those words made him sound like an old man, aged prematurely before his time. And yet, yet, he asked himself, what right do I have to feel this rotten?? Surely one night's actions can't have made this much of an impact...surely I am exaggerating. Rational. Sane. These thoughts were exactly that. However, the boy realized with a shudder, rationality and sanity had nothing to do with his current state of mind.

Quick as an arrow released from the bow of an ace marksman, the images in his mind flashed to another scene: a scene where he had gracefully stepped down and removed any obstacles from the path of happiness to another....then to another scene, later on, in a clearing...the warm air mixing with the cool night breeze characteristic of an area close to the sea. There had been many others there, each seemingly benign beings, yet, each with a purpose to bring two individuals together and to ensure that the boy could do nothing but watch and stay out of it. 'In retrospect', the boy thought, 'I would have done well to avoid the thing entirely. I should have just stayed put and let the world go on.' As with most decisions, this too was made in retrospect, and not at the time when it should have been made.

The clearing still flashed in his mind, the laughs of the others, the carefully chosen questions, the seemingly playful challenges, the cheering of the crowd, a crowd of which he too was a part, a cheer in which he too took part, smiling, applauding, and yet, dying on the inside. Each stolen word, a knowing smile, a coy glance, a discreet touch, stabbed at him like a million arrow points. Yet, the boy kept up appearances, realising that each member of the company familiar with his history, were awaiting his reactions, as if to test his resolve. 'No', he thought, as he quickly dismissed the harsh thoughts jumping up to his mind, 'it wasn't malice. It was probably just curiosity.' He kept his emotions in check. He did his best to keep his face alight with happiness and let the sorrow lie deep within, and yet, it escaped him once. Just that once. He recovered quickly, but not quick enough. Those closest to him had spotted that momentary lapse. Sensing five pairs of eyes on him, the boy signalled his retreat. He waved his goodbyes to the party and said his goodbyes to the host, and left.

'And yet', the boy thought, 'and yet, they were concerned. They tried to help.'

The ocean's force had steadily increased. Spray was flying all over him, mildly soaking him. He smelt the salty acent of the ocean and felt the remains of the ocean spray on him, a solitary figure on the rocks. Alone. This burden must be faced by him alone. Only he could labor to get out of this chasm that he had created for himself and trapped himself in, only he could make the long climb back to the light where he had once been happy. Only he.

The ocean grew stronger and more furious. And yet the boy did not move. He looked up and saw a large wave gathering in the distance. He stoood up. Waited. His last thoughts were:

How did it come to this?