Slump period...surprisingly inspirational

This one was written during a sort of slump..bored, tired, and surprisingly inspired, I undertook this task of writing, and I leave it now, for you, dear reader, to applaud or rubbish, as you see fit.


Well, back again for some random ramblings. Life’s thrown challenges, made some friends, realized that some others are just idiots, learnt to abuse in the vernacular, saw the first of my works published in an actual legitimate publication of sorts. Rather proud of it, although a lot of the women who read it weren’t exactly too pleased about it, and as a result I have just escaped being castrated, or suffering some more horrible fate, which was being planned for me. And that was just today. Note to self- must keep the Axe effect down to a minimal. Not talking about the deodorant. Just making sure I avoid someone who wants to bury the hatchet, I mean literally. Quite a number of happenings that have been going on, most interesting, bordering on the bizarre, but then again the bizarre is routine.


Personal triumphs, as well as unreachable depths in terms of sorrow, all reached within a week, gotten over with in another week, came to terms that “usage” is still quite prevalent everywhere, college atmospheres being the most, and this time gender role reversals took place. Feel quite the pioneer, really do. Contemplating nirvana, attainment of it actually. But then again, nirvana would seem rather boring in my context. Working on altering facial structures and expressions which would perhaps convey either being totally unconcerned, horribly impressed, so as to not being able to express exactly what to show, or that I am horribly constipated. All subject to interpretation. Creativity given a free hand, but curtailed due to rather disturbing idealistic reasons, laziness being the foremost. Lifestyle changes minimalistic, changes in thought processes, maximalistic, increase in amount of words made up, drastic. Contemplating making my own dictionary. Number of users- none. Wouldn’t use it myself. Consider idea abandoned.


Love life, let’s not get into that. Too many weird happenings in that area, “dow-jones indices” ascending and plummeting with alarming alacrity. Scary. Very scary. Hailed as a dude and a Casanova in the same breath. Feelings, not building up to crushes, hallmarks of recent times, hairless gentlemen, ex-boyfriends, and the unclear hairstyle all characters in the stories of the women who find mention in my story.


Inspiration eludes me currently, again the matter subject to interpretation. But this current state of mind I am in, quite refreshing, not to mention relaxing. Me, the stars outside my window, the rain falling gently, a steaming pot of coffee, and my thoughts keeping the Lord Of The Flies company. Stars twinkling, making a poet out of me. Not really, quite a utopian ideal that. But stars and the heavens above me, just me and my coffee, and perhaps some inspiration soon.


Cigarettes and curd anyone?

No kabir, no more fillies

Illusions

Dear reader, before you continue, I feel I owe you an explanation with regards to why I insist on calling myself Lord Samuel Undergartner. Small explanation, really. In my second year, I attended a birthday party, which tended to be a bit on the boring side, so a couple of friends and me decided to come up with fantasy titles of english nobility and act out the part for the remainder of the evening. Turns out I took the whole game a lot more seriously. But I was young, it was fun, and I'd do it again if I had to.

Anyway, onwards....

Illusions (for lack of a better title)


Random facts lead to outright unexpected results. Things said , or done, are nowadays implying or seeming to do so, something else-either magnified, or something ever so unexpected (translation- contrary to what was said)


The grump and the cynic both met at the same time, with apparently the same agenda in mind. Both met at the same time and beat the sense into and the shit out of me. Good thing and about time too. Guys, where the hell have you been? In their absence, quite unexpected aspects of personality had shown up, which, fortunately after several hard blows to the knocks, went back in. (I’m talking about the aspects)


Mush-hater!!! Detester of the color pink, anything remotely pinkish (not to laugh. I actually know a lovely lady with the same name), detested by self-professed lovers and people who consider it a style to have items of clothing in bizarre shades of pink, with even more bizarre designs.( Fashion sense deterioration-indication of the apocolypse perhaps? Laughable really). Realist ever so slightly, but more importantly, welcome back the idiot with whom I so seem to (unwillingly) identify with. Ladies and other unimportant people, hail the return of Lord Samuel Undergartner, younger lord of the house of the royal Undergartners.


Ins(h)pirations lost, aspirations regained, inspired idiots laughed at, inshpired unfortunates sympathized with, ideal dreams re-conjured, and all round fear arising due to lack of preparations. Utopia, the ideal place, lies in ruins, after having seemingly deserted me. So much for all things grand and perfect. Hope still exists, though! Perhaps some new inspirations I shall seek, or shall be sought after by. (hoping for the vice-versa effect to kick in), or perhaps accept the loss, which symbolizes the beginning, but not the end, gracefully or not, who’s watching.


Lord Undergartner’s back. Hide the mush candy.


To each inspired idiot, his own inspiration. To everyman, his own muse.


Cigarettes and curds will do the job for me!!!!


Cheers!!

Grump's Entry

This one I wrote a good three years ago, when I used to pride myself on being an absolute cynic.




Feel like I am on a streak out here……


Should actually rename myself “The Grump” because I seem to have a problem with every single thing in the world. Hmmm…. In that case just call me grumpy. The world already has “humor” writers, the world already has “serious” writers, and god knows the world has enough “humorously serious writers”. It s time for the rise of a writer who just likes to complain and just that. No healthy sense of humor, no dull reporting or predicting how our country is going to end up in the gutter and definitely no helpful sarcasm or a useful social satire…. The grump is here….and by god here he is going to stay and complain about every single thing in this world. Right enough of an introduction.

This week the grump s anger is rather misdirected. I want to be mad at one thing but have ended up being mad at everything. Be it the stinking, filthy plight of our city, or the attitude of it s citizens? Hell no! the grump is a teenage bastard (not literally, you idiots apologize to mom), frustrated, and pouring out what my therapist (lot he knows, lol) calls healthy angst! A natural expression of his frustrations madam, said he to my mom, no cause for worry… must be in love!! Like I said… lot he knows. Ah well!! That pretty much sealed my plight!! Now my mother thinks I am a lovesick puppy, my dad can t stop giggling to himself and me.. as for me I have to endure speeches which invariably start with, “the youth of today, no decency, spending parents hard earned money” or “in our times,..” yada yada yada.. doesn t matter that “our times” may have been yesterday, or the day before…. I am still worse than what my elders were at that singular point of time. The worst part is such speeches usually end with “ you are grounded”. Hmm seems somethings will never change.


Damn my therapist….. I pay him to help me out…… but seems that the damn useless intellectual can t do anything straight… and has got me in more trouble than I already was in. And to think I wanted to be like him. That’s not the scary part. The scary part is I still want to be a psychiatrist……hmmm has it s advantages. I can tell someone else s mother that their kid is in love. I ll watch him get punished…… here him endure the same speeches I have to go through….. have the same punishments meted out to him. The world will fear me….. crazy dr. they will call me…..they will run away…. Ha ha ha ha ha. They will pay me money, I will tell them things they already know…. Twist around the words…. speak in a higher vocabulary….. they will go home happy…. They will make me rich…… they will I tell you…

Hmmm long live suckers


Makes you wonder doesn’t it?

More Random Mutterings

The commercialization of emotions…this has struck us all in recent times…we blamed it on globalization, then blamed it on the West, saying they have a bad influence on us. Believe me, money has begun governing matters of the heart anywhere, be it Vermont or Vizag. Don’t believe me? Look at love. “Love Will Keep Us Alive” is an embodiment of the new commercial avatar of “Archies And Hallmarks Packaged Sentiment- Love. Warning: May cause people to become stupid”.


For those of you wondering what the hell I am rambling about, sometime back.. on Valentine s day I made a rather sarcastic comment about how love, more than an expression from the heart has become a commercial marketing point. And for those who think that this is a retraction….. ha ha suckers!! Think again!!! I stand by everything I wrote…. It is true…. Ask any boyfriend and he will tell you that his love has cost him… and how…. But that is not important because apparently when you are in love you don t want to worry about increasing costs and instead choose to mask your disappointment and worries with a cheerful mask and a shrug and choose to think how your beloved makes your world go around, and how she is the light of your life. Yeah right… time to throw off the mask of rationalism, my brother. Face the realities… love may be the most exhilarating feeling in the world (obviously you haven t tried dope) and may give you an ecstatic feeling (seriously, try dope.. way cheaper), but it is also the most expensive thing in this world. Take all the money lovers have spent on each other, club it together, and one whole country will have enough to buy jaguar cars for every citizen. It s another point that that country might be Vatican City but you get what I am saying.


You may come at me again with knives and guns baying for my blood… love is good, I hear you say….. you poor misguided soul….. really I pity you. While you and your love are going around whispering sweet nothings and saying “I love you” s to each other……somewhere someone is going “ another sucker. All the world loves a lover, especially the sellers of love”. Never has the song “Love will keep us alive” had more meaning than in the present times…… think about it….love will be the biggest expenditure everyone of us will incur during our lifetime….ponder carefully…. And then threaten to slit my throat


Makes you wonder doesn t it???

Happy Thinking

V

VENI, VEDI, KABOOM!!!!!!

I found a whole pile of my earlier writings...so I thought i'd make up for my earlier absence and at the same time find a way for the world to read these. Cheers.

I wonder, I ponder, I blunder. Those three actions would basically sum up my life. Julius Caesar’s immortal quote, translated to my life situations would read something g like: Veni, Vedi, KABOOOM! Translation: I came, I saw, it exploded. It wasn’t my fault, really. But arguing your case is really no use when a room full of grown-ups come charging into the room, see something broken, and assume that the 21 year old who’s holding the broken object in his hands is the guilty party. I tell you, there’s no justice in this world. I mean they don’t even want to listen to anything you might have to say in your defense. Terrible, absolutely heartless.

For example, this one time, I was playing basketball in the house. My mum had told me not to play in the house, using many colorful words to explain what would happen to my state of being if I disobeyed (layman’s translation- I’d be killed if I played in the house). Anyways, I assumed she was just being a mum about the whole thing and as her loving son, I was meant to disobey, and that it was in my destiny.(note from the dead- kids, don’t think this way at home) Well, I’m never one to go against anything that is pre-ordained, and well, I played ball in the house, and wouldn’t you know it, I broke something. Enter the dragon!! No wait, it’s mum!! Even worse!! Stay and face situation like a man!!!(translation- no way of getting out of there) I said, “mum, you knew I was going to break something. I really can’t stand to see you being disappointed, and so I did.” (at this point, I had on an extremely innocent face, angelic almost). However, mums know their kids better than anyone else, and my mum knows ME!! In short, that whole situation didn’t turn out entirely favorable. On the plus side though, I am now an expert at gluing back a priceless ming vase.


However this war between priceless household heirlooms and me is far from over. They sense my clumsiness, and it’s like they are stalking me, waiting for me to just move my hands in one direction or swish it in the other, and they will invariably place themselves at the receiving ends of my wild swings, waiting to be dropped and broken. I swear, it’s a conspiracy against me. They will implicate me, and I will always be blamed for their premature demise. Like I said, I’m always present at the scene of the crime. Those damn aliens always run away. I can’t positively manage to fly away or levitate away. I tried flying once and just looked like an ass swinging my arms. O ya. I ended up breaking something. Wouldn’t you know it??

I would try the levitation method, but that requires immense amounts of concentration, and knowledge of yoga, or so I’m told, and I don’t have the inclination to do yoga, nor the flexibility to do something like that. Sure, the yogis do it, but they also wear saffron loin cloths. That I don’t mind doing. Then again, the closest I got to doing anything spiritual was when I tried to hypnotize a friend of mine. It did partly work, he did fall asleep, but then I was told he had eaten too many idlis. Aw damn!!!!! Ah well.

But I digress……the fact of the matter is that every single breakable item has decided to conspire against me and the word has spread on the world wide breakable web. So the next time anyone decides to call me home for tea (make it coffee. I’m South Indian I need the coffee) make sure that all your valuables are locked safely away, and that they have no way of getting out.

Cheers and good notions
V

You Know This One's For You

I've been doing a lot of thinking,
So much that my mind's given up,
Now it's just pure heart, nothing else....

So hear me out....

I've said all I had to say,
Tried to get you to see things my way,
But still, like always, you'll just say,
"Maybe it will work someday."

Now I know that i can't rhyme for nuts,
At this point, this poem's just going bust,
But I really, really don't care,
These words are going nowhere

It's just from me to you
"I'm falling in love with you."

I know I've said this time and time again,
But these thoughts keep clogging up my brain,
I'm honest here, please don't mock me
My brain and my heart just won't let me be

So I guess I'll just start of anew,
It's just between me and you,
"I'm falling in love with you."

I really don't have anything to say
Just thinking of you used to make my day
But now I know that's just wrong,
That's why I tried to write a song,
But I know this just wont make sense to you,
But it's true, yo..
"I'm falling in love with you."

I hate that I feel like this,
like a huge pile of shit,
But I want you to know this is not your fault
Just my senses leaving me deserted
In a dark and lonely vault

Well. this time I know what I want,
Happiness for you is all that I want,
And I hope you'll never ever know,
How my feelings for you continue to grow..

But this one's between me and you...
"I've fallen in love with you."

-This can either be a poem or a really bad song, assuming I decide to put a tune to it. Either way, it's my feelings..and I don't know why, but this sure as hell seemed the best way to express them-

Cheers and good notions

V