Are you scared of cockroaches?

Thank you Arjun Sharma for not knowing the faintest thing about me and still managing to leave fairly encouraging comments. And yes, even though you use big words, you are still a good guy.

With the wannabe oscar -acceptance speech out of the way, I must now talk about something that is of utmost importance to me. Are you afraid of cockroaches? For me, atleast, the answer is a loud and resounding YES!!! They gross me out. They do. They seriously scare the bejeesus out of me. Don't ask me where i got that word from, it came as a result of some cartoon I once saw(yes, I still watch cartoons. Live with it.) But they do. The very idea of something having been on this earth way before me, and the probability of them being the only ones that will potentially survive a third world war, and the nuclear explosions that will cast a cloud on our fair earth is scary. Come on. Admit it.

Okay, fine. It's just me then, isn't it? Alright. I don't care. I don't. I'm still scared of them. Here's the deal. Next time i decide to ask out a woman, the first thing I shall ask them is if they are afraid of cockroaches.If the answer is no, and i hope it is, then the next question shall be if they mind me being afraid of cockroaches. If that is also no, then we shall continue. Otherwise, it is over even before it began.

But here's the worst part. My grandmother's house is overrun with them. They seem to rule the house, and regard us as mere mortals who just sub-let it. I'm afraid to even walk into my kitchen with them ruling over it. Far be it from me to intrude into their kingdom. But I have made certain observations.

The major congregation spot seems to be the kitchen. It is here that the Roach head rules with his harem. He gives orders, and distributes his minions around the kitchen, the living room, my grandmother's bathroom, and the main bathroom. And they seem to have their own peculiar timings. For example, the cockroach union has decided, out of infinite kindness for us humans, that they shall haunt the bathroom in my grandmother's bedroom only till 10:30, and then in military formation, they return to the kitchen. The ones in the master bathroom enter it only after 1 am. They very kindly stay out of my bedroom. But the kitchen is most certainly their domain. Fool is he who dares to enter then. They look upon this intrusion with utmost disdain, and no mercy shall be given. None I tell you.

This menace can't be stopped. Can't. Nothing works. The lakshman Rekha does nothing. Perhaps these cockroaches aren't as well read, and haven't grasped the religious significance of the Ramayana. HIT is a royal FLOP!! Nothing works. Nothing short of my grandmother accidentally crushing one of them.

This menace will soon grow. Stop forwarding e-mails about how some girl needs a kidney, and wake up to the growing COCKROACH menace.

With deep amounts of concern.

V