I read my post of last night, and frankly, even I was disgusted with myself. God, how boring is that post!!!! If you feel like coming and killing me, do so. By all means. I sure as hell wouldn't blame you. The law might, a completely different matter, but from my side, absolutely no objections.

Moving on. Firstly, a big HELLO to our most devoted reader, Mr. Arjun Sharma. And yes sir, I was in Pta, From the sixth to the tenth. Ah, good times. Mr. Arjun Sharma use to love to tell the story about how we were in a Gita recitation contest together, and I was starving. The organizers, sensing that we just might be hungry, decided, in their infinite wisdom to serve some upma as refreshments. I saw this as a welcome move. Mr. Sharma, although I'm sure he doesn't remember it now, chose that oppurtune moment to sneeze, causing me to dump half my food on the floor, and half on the bench we were sitting on. Now, I was mad, but more importantly, I was still hungry. So, following much deliberation, i scooped the food on my bench, which was rather clean, and then proceeded to finish it. This incident was repeated often, with Mr. Sharma taking undue advantage of the fact that I couldn't speak Kannada too well, and adding his own twists to the tale, knowing fairly well i couldn't offer a rebuttal. Ah, such a devious mind. SUch a devious mind.

Secondly, have you ever wondered about women? Of course you have..I mean we are all men here. They say one thing, and mean quite another. Even the great Sigmund Freud, a man i USED to admire until I found out that he too did not actually know anything; all his fancy razzmatazz(sp?) was just to cover up his actual ignorance, used to wonder, "What do women really want?" Decades since those words first came into Freud's head, I find myself joining the huge droves who also ponder the same question, which seems to be better than the debate on whether it is coffee or toffee.(Personally, I have tasted it, and i vote for toffee. No way could coffee taste that bad). I mean look at the evidence. They send you all these signs, and then rebuke you when you don't act upon them and call you a wuss. Or, when you do react to them, they say you are trying to take advantage of them. They send you e-mils telling you how they want to be treated and expect you to understand that it is their way of reaching out. You send something similar, trying to give an insight into a guy's mind, and they say we are Pigs. I tell you, there is no winning with them.

But that's not what this post is all about. Nor is it about the secret language that women possess. It's true. It exists. Stay tuned to this blog for further updates on that issue. That ought to keep you interested. No, this post will focus on a particular issue: CONVERSATION. Conversation, being one of the most important commandments of a successful date, is rather a bone of contention. I'm willing to bet that every guy out there knows atleast four girls who say that the first thing they look for in a guy is whether he is an intelligent conversationalist. Fair enough. Gives guys like me ample chances to score with women otherwise considered way out of our leagues. But this is where they lie. THEY LIE. It's true. They say they need someone to tlak to, but they just end up listening. The guy tries and tries and tries to make decent conversation, which usually involves some amount of dialogue, meaning both the guy AND the girl have to talk. But no. Permit me to give you an example.

Normal guy and girl are out on date. Typical date type behaviour is happening. A sample conversation:

Guy: SO tell me, what are your favorite authors?
Girl: Oh, I don't know. I don't have any favorite authors. I just like reading. Anything.
(The guy, who had planned to take a 5 minute break from thinking, is suddenly put back into the spotlight. Very cleverly, the girl has shifted the onus of the conversation back onto him)
Guy: Oh...what about movies?
Girl: I like them all.
Guy: Music?
Girl: Anything as long as it's nice to hear.
(Cue to ten minutes later where the guy has exhausted every possible conversation starting topic, and secretly wishes to cry, but is prevented by the simple fact that he is infact A MAN)

There you have it. What do they want from us? What? I asked this to a female friend of mine once, and she said that it's their way of making the man put in some effort. Ah!! As if asking a girl out, psyching yourself out of and back into the date, and finally showing up and waiting for her to show up as well isn't effort enough, they now want to test our talking skills. Seriously, mark my words. One of these days, it is going to be necessary to take an entrance exam before we get to go out with a girl, or even ask her out.

And I have kept up my promise. In the words of Russel Crowe-" ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"

Cheers and good notions

V