THE PLACEMENTS

A Poem

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DISCLAIMER: This has nothing to do with the Catholic Church.

DISCLAIMER 2: Based on a real-life accident in the Poet's Life. ________________________________________________________________________

It is that time of day again, and it’s come none too soon;
As blazing morning gives its way to scorching afternoon.
We sit and sweat and swear and shout, and wonder what to do,
And in walks our PC*, saying “Lis’n up all of you!
I have something to tell you all, which is of great import.”
“It is this,” he says aloud, and waits for some retort.

Nothing is forthcoming, we are not the least interested,
And our PC mashes his teeth, his efforts have been bested.
He clears his throat, and straightens his collar,
He opens his mouth and he tries to holler,
His voice cracks and it comes out hoarse,
The silence is broken by laughter and roars.

“You all have your placements, and we PC’s have our job,”
He says with all importance, as he begins to bob.
“We have to make sure of one thing good and true,
And that is to ensure that we get every one of you
A job that’s worth your time, and also pays you money,
Stop giggling back there; this isn’t remotely funny!”

“Now the companies will come sometime this month or the next,
You’ll have to brush up on your syllabus, and get back to your text.
They’ll ask you some tough questions, there’s lots they’ll put you through,
And at the end of all this crap is a blasted Interview!
If you manage to clear it all, and shine in every session,
You’ll still have to wade through the dreaded Group Discussion!”

“Once you've gone through this, for better or for worse,
You’ll have your job,” said he, and ended with a curse.
The reason why he abruptly stopped midway through his talk
Was that someone from the back bench had biffed him with a chalk.
It was at this crucial moment that his phone began to ring,
And he walked out of class, screaming into the bloody thing.

We sat there completely stunned; we were totally confounded,
Was all this talk official and true or simply rumour, unfounded?
As we sat and pondered thus, in he walked again,
A smile was hitched along his face, in his pocket gleamed his pen.
“I have a meeting to attend now,” he smirked as he strode
His way into the classroom and stood next to the board.

“I believe there’s going to be some change; I have to check out what it is,
So you all wait till I get back, and talk of that and this.”
And with this shining parting shot, our PC took his leave,
And noise leaked into the classroom like water from a sieve.
We all sat there talking of our chances for a placement,
Of the ridicule we would go through, and of all the sad debasement.

’Twas about two hours later, we were ready to leave en masse,
When, like a genie from a lamp, our PC breezed into the class.
No smile was on his happy face, a frown divided his brow,
He put his hands up in the air and said, “Listen, now.
Some things have happened, I don’t know if it’s good or bad,
But hey! Things will turn out well, don’t look all that sad!”

“What I have to tell will be a little tough to take,
But what sense you can, out of it you’ll have to make.
I have tell you sadly, our college fucked the placement.
It’s true! There’s a whole meeting going on in the basement!
They for got to tell the companies that they’d have to come,
And so we have nothing now, it’s so bleedin’ dumb!”

“But then, don’t worry, all is not yet lost,
We will get the companies, no matter what the cost.
You will have your placements, and we will do our work!
Jai Hind!” he said, and left us in the murk.
And once more we were stunned and silence reigned supreme,
The college had once more succeeded in stomping on a dream.

Anger was heavy in our hearts, and hatred lay there too,
We argued for hours together, about what we had to do.
“Maybe we’ll have placements later,” someone said out loud,
And as if on cue, our PC returned, looking good and proud.
“Don’t worry,” he said, “all the patch-ups have begun,
We will have our placements, and our places in the sun!”

“But we may have the placements about three months from now,
When we’re all done with our exams, with difficulty, somehow.
And then you’ll all get your jobs, of this I guarantee you,
Well, now I have be downstairs, so I’ll see you when I see you!”
He waved to us, and smiled a smile, and walked out through the door,
And we all just sat there, just as worried as before.

We didn’t know what to make of this, whether it was true or false,
We didn’t know if they were trying to help us, or kick us in the balls.
Discussion didn’t help us any, and neither did debate,
We decided to call it a day, it was getting pretty late.
We all got up, as if on cue, and left the classroom, talking.
Inside that room we left the spectre of our placements stalking.

And with these words, this sombre account finishes.
I seek from you your kind comfort, and all your warmest wishes.
I must face this Nemesis, in a few months from now;
I hope it all comes out well; and I can take a bow.
I must leave now, having got out this story dark and bloody
For, my internals begin next week, for that I’ll have to study.

* PC – Placement Co-ordinator.