BY K.
“The more you know, the more fragile we are.”
- Capt. Baker, in Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle’s ‘Lucifer’s Hammer’.
It seems to me that in latter years, the term “Scientific Development” has ceased to mean any development of a scientific kind and has gone on to become a never-ending series of gory, grisly warnings about how literally every single thing we humans do is so harmful. Refrigerators. Deodorants. Alcohol. Cigarettes. Television. Pharmaceutical research. Make up. Everything is harmful.
So why don’t we all just run away and die or something?
The more we learn, the more we realize how fragile we are. And thus, in the Second Millenium, we are freaking ourselves out.
So why don’t we all just run away and die or something?
The more we learn, the more we realize how fragile we are. And thus, in the Second Millenium, we are freaking ourselves out.
Don’t use deodorants! Or fridges! The ozone layer is gone! You will by fried to a crisp by The Alpha Rays from Outer Space!!!
Don’t smoke! Your sperm will die, your DNA will shrivel and lose all its helical beauty – and so will your children! And your wife! And your neighbour’s dog will become infertile and can’t hump that b**ch down the street any more!!!!
Don’t drink! Your brain cells will die!! And as any interior designer worth his/her salt will tell you, what’s a brain without its brain cells??? Losing brain cells makes you more likely to get Alzheimer’s (a disease so destructive, half the medical community still pronounces it wrong)!!! (That is true, by the way. Because Alzheimer’s affects brain cells. Which OBVIOUSLY means, the less number of cells you have, the more chances of getting it. Hah. And we get taken in.)
The truth is, all these risks existed from ages ago. Cigarettes, if I remember right, were first smoked in the 1300s or so. They became popular very quickly. And if all these claims are right, we all should be stunted, sterile monsters now. And cancer should be running rampant. And AIDS.
Alcohol. Well, I need say nothing about that. It’s been around a LONG while. And we’re noticing harmful effects only now???
The thing is, we have stopped enjoying ourselves. We have stopped living and letting live. Now all we are concerned about is how much everything we do will harm us. We are so worried that these things will harm us, that the harm is already caused because of the worry rather than the activity.
Try this:
The truth is, all these risks existed from ages ago. Cigarettes, if I remember right, were first smoked in the 1300s or so. They became popular very quickly. And if all these claims are right, we all should be stunted, sterile monsters now. And cancer should be running rampant. And AIDS.
Alcohol. Well, I need say nothing about that. It’s been around a LONG while. And we’re noticing harmful effects only now???
The thing is, we have stopped enjoying ourselves. We have stopped living and letting live. Now all we are concerned about is how much everything we do will harm us. We are so worried that these things will harm us, that the harm is already caused because of the worry rather than the activity.
Try this:
Tell a chain smoker he has a chance of getting a heart attack, but ask him not to worry – since every single human has a chance of getting one, as we all happen to have hearts. Ask him not to worry.
And catch another guy, who neither smokes nor drinks. Tell him these days risks have gone up by 17% which means he is more likely to get heartburn and attacks and AIDS and cancer and everything else. Basically FREAK HIS ASS OUT.
Now you have two people. One who has a high risk quotient, but is not worried about it. He is HAPPY. And another who has no risk, but is VERY WORRIED.
See which one gets a heart attack first.
In your heart, you know I’m right. It’s the worrying that’ll kill us off.
I’m not saying encourage everything, but at least stop freaking people out. Good lord! The scientists are putting out warnings which, if taken at one go, probably indicate that one half of the entire human population should be taken out and shot by the other half. And then, half of the remaining should be taken out and shot by the other remaining half and then half the ….
And then only two people will be left alive, and it won’t matter. Whatever one does will increase the others chances of death by about 50%. They’ll collapse from worry in about two minutes.
And the aliens will win.
Wait. I didn’t tell you about that???!!! Shit!
See, long years ago, aliens colonised the Earth. They tried to gain control by any means they could: started wars, assassinated Presidents, gave India independence, everything. But nothing was really effective. Then they hit on the solution.
They masqueraded as scientists and proceeded to totally confuse and scare us. The result? No free will anywhere. All of us will just lay down and die.
And I’m predicting it will happen that way.
The media will continue to show us all the Harmful Things and the Surveys that will show us How Harmful Harmful Everything Is.
And catch another guy, who neither smokes nor drinks. Tell him these days risks have gone up by 17% which means he is more likely to get heartburn and attacks and AIDS and cancer and everything else. Basically FREAK HIS ASS OUT.
Now you have two people. One who has a high risk quotient, but is not worried about it. He is HAPPY. And another who has no risk, but is VERY WORRIED.
See which one gets a heart attack first.
In your heart, you know I’m right. It’s the worrying that’ll kill us off.
I’m not saying encourage everything, but at least stop freaking people out. Good lord! The scientists are putting out warnings which, if taken at one go, probably indicate that one half of the entire human population should be taken out and shot by the other half. And then, half of the remaining should be taken out and shot by the other remaining half and then half the ….
And then only two people will be left alive, and it won’t matter. Whatever one does will increase the others chances of death by about 50%. They’ll collapse from worry in about two minutes.
And the aliens will win.
Wait. I didn’t tell you about that???!!! Shit!
See, long years ago, aliens colonised the Earth. They tried to gain control by any means they could: started wars, assassinated Presidents, gave India independence, everything. But nothing was really effective. Then they hit on the solution.
They masqueraded as scientists and proceeded to totally confuse and scare us. The result? No free will anywhere. All of us will just lay down and die.
And I’m predicting it will happen that way.
The media will continue to show us all the Harmful Things and the Surveys that will show us How Harmful Harmful Everything Is.
And we’ll freak out.
In a couple of generations, we’ll be breeding men and women too shit-scared to do anything. Soon, no one will WANT to live any more. Indeed, it’s happening now, already!
Who wants to live if:
Taking a walk in traffic is equal to smoking three cigarettes?
Smokers get their DNA damaged and they’ll have stunted, horribly disfigured children!
Smokers’ spouses, colleagues, casual sexual contacts will all develop cancer and they will become infertile!
The ozone layer is gone! You can get skin diseases just by walking in the sunlight!
Typing things on a computer will give you extremely debilitating nerve diseases, which means basically you’ll have to amputate your hands!
Reading things on computer screens will harm your eyes!
Who wants to live if:
Taking a walk in traffic is equal to smoking three cigarettes?
Smokers get their DNA damaged and they’ll have stunted, horribly disfigured children!
Smokers’ spouses, colleagues, casual sexual contacts will all develop cancer and they will become infertile!
The ozone layer is gone! You can get skin diseases just by walking in the sunlight!
Typing things on a computer will give you extremely debilitating nerve diseases, which means basically you’ll have to amputate your hands!
Reading things on computer screens will harm your eyes!
LIVING will harm YOUR LIFE!!!!
SO DIE!!!
Epilogue:
We won!!! We won!!!!
- Alien Military Commander, April 13th, 2078.
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3 comments:
"And if all these claims are right, we all should be stunted, sterile monsters now. And cancer should be running rampant. And AIDS."
Unfortunately it is true. We are a more sterile people now. And cancer is running rampant. So is AIDS. Research before going on a tirade. Never thought you would be stupid enough to put up a post like this.
Hey.
Let's face it.
1. Some posts are all about well researched, socially relevant topics. Some, on the other hand, are meant for sheer emotional catharsis. A vent. A stopgap solution, but getting your heart out on paper (even virtual paper) does help.
2. I'm not saying anything about actual biological harm. I meant, yes, bio-effects are there. But worrying's only gonna make it worse, much worse. And that IS a well-researched comment. Worrying can kill you from a problem that would not have harmed you that much had you NOT worried about it. And hence, most of the damage is very much aggravated by unnecessary worry. Which might make the future much worse.
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stop explaining. good post. intellectual masturbation, but good post.
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